*Going Home!!*

I get to spend 25 days at home!!! SO excited!! Please be praying for me on the 28th of July because I will be traveling all day, several planes, several airports, and... the first time trying it alone! I really haven't flown that often, flew to Vietnam with my Dad, flew back with the Missionary family. Flew once in the states with my sister. And flew here to France with the Cole's. So yeah I've never had to pay as much attention as I will need to this time around... I figure once I do it I'll feel a lot more confident about it but at this point it seems complicated. But I know the Lord will be with me and will lead and guide :)
Michael, Liz, and Viviane are out of school the whole month of August and I was graciously given that time to go home and meet my new Nephew! And spend time with my parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, church family, and puppy :D Except for Jenny & Kyle I haven't seen any of them since the end of December and so yeah I'm beyond happy about it!!

Near the end of August I'll fly back to France to finish out the year as Viviane, Adeline, and Mathieu's Nanny :)

So thankful for this mission journey and the opportunity to experience new things and be a part of these children's lives.

Yes I have some ideas what will happen or what certain things will look like when I'm finished here but really the Lord only knows. He already has plans for me and I'm thankful to be able to rest in that. And to get to look to Him for direction. It's not as important what my plans are for next year as it is where my heart, mind, and attitude are today.

{{Holy Fire burn away, my desire for anything, that is not of you and is of me, I want more of you and less of me. Empty me. Won’t you fill me with You. With You}}(Jeremy Camp)

{{I cling to Christ, and marvel at the cost: Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God. Bought by such love, my life is not my own: My praise, my all shall be for Christ alone}} (Chris Anderson)

{{So take this selfish heart of mine. I want to give it all. I've wasted too much time. And melt away everything that's not of You, I want to know You more, so much deeper than I do - completely unrestrained}} (Jeremy Camp)

<3 Rissa

~Day 190~

First of all I want to mention that it is my friend Jenny's birthday today!! She is away at Navy bootcamp and I can't call and wish her a happy birthday :( But I'd like her to know that I'm so proud of her for the sacrifice she's making to serve her country and to wholeheartedly do what the Lord has called her to. She's brave, strong, and determined - if you only knew how much I miss you! Praying for you every day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Secondly I'd like to announce that as of Saturday June 30th I am now the proud and extremely excited Aunt of a brand new baby boy = which makes TWO NEPHEWS for me!! :D My strong & amazing sister Meridith gave birth to Nathaniel early Saturday morning and a few hours later I got to see them both on skype (beyond thankful for technology). He is just precious! I'm so appreciative of my sister Rachel keeping me updated and calling me to tell me he had arrived safe and sound. Congratulations Jason & Meridith - lots of prayers going your way, so excited for you! Can't wait to meet him!

Michael & Liz just started summer school (for the month of July) so I get to be with all 3 kids most days and I'm enjoying them as much as ever. Since we've be in France Mathieu has changed so much, he's 9 months old now and scooting and rolling to get where he wants to go, I imagine soon enough he'll be crawling and quite unstoppable :) He and the girls are so full of energy and smiles!

My Grandma is in a nursing home now but from what I've heard I think she's improving some and hopefully will be able to return to her own home after awhile.. It's hard when you only get bits and pieces of the story but she's in the Lord's hands and I know I can trust Him to do what's best for her.

I've been sick this week, not sure what it was or where it came from but it's slowly going away and for that I'm grateful, hopefully in a day or so I'll back to normal. I'd like to start running again because it's been way too long now, no shock there, consistency is not my strong point, but the Lord's still working on me :)
Consistency is not only a difficulty for me with exercising and eating healthier but with a lot of things, getting up earlier, studying French etc. And the most important - spending time with the Lord - daily. I know for my life it really affects every part if I don't spend time talking to Him and reading His word. My focus/purpose/joy/ everything, it goes down hill so fast if I'm not taking time to be still with my Jesus. How am I to know what Jesus would do if I'm not asking Him and studying His life? How am I to handle situations with a godly attitude if I don't know what the Fruits of the Spirit are and I'm not feeding & watering them? I can't love others if I can't remember what true love is. I won't bring God glory if He's not my top priority. All that to say I'm so thankful that the Lord remains faithful even when His children do not. I don't want to take that for granted, I want to love Him more and give more of me, because He deserves, and wants - all of me.

I've been a little down the last weekish because I had to say goodbye to my friend Abi, it was time for her to return to England. We were "kindred spirits" as Anne of Green Gables would say :) - as sad as saying goodbye is I pray our friendship can continue and I'm more than grateful for the past 6 months. Thinking a lot about what it means to be thankful.. James 1:17 says Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above. and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
And I'll leave you with a quote from Nancy Leigh DeMoss "A grateful man or woman will be a breath of fresh air in a world contaminated by bitterness and discontentment. And the person whose gratitude is a by product of a response to the redeeming grace of God will showcase the heart of the gospel in a way that is winsome and compelling."


<3, Rissa

*Eighty-Seven Years*

Three years ago today my Grandpa Maupin passed away. I was with him, his wife and his children.I had just returned home from spending a year in Vietnam and I'm so thankful I got to see him one more time, got to tell him I loved him, got to be there with my Dad through that heartbreaking experience... To me it was awful to watch him take his last breath in that hospital room, but all in all he peacefully passed from earth to eternity. I had never seen someone die before, every time he took a deep breath I was terrified it'd be his last, and then he'd keep on breathing for a couple more hours, until one moment he really did take his last breath, it was almost a relief, but I was left with an emptiness, a finality. His life on earth was finished. My Grandma was a widow, my Dad and his brother and sisters would have to live the rest of their lives without their Dad. No more Father's days or birthdays, phone calls or hugs.. Only memories to live with. I have such beautiful memories of visiting Grandpa and his farm, playing in the hay and the creek, petting the goats, listening to stories of when my Dad was little etc. I miss all that. I miss my Grandpa. And I miss what could have been, I wanted him to be around for my future.. I'm so grateful for the 87 years he had though, for the people he influenced, for the legacy he left. I'm thankful for the 20 years I had to know him. He left behind his beautiful wife Ellen whom I love so much, he has 2 sons and 2 daughters, and many grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope we're making him proud, I hope we carry on his name in an honoring way. My one regret is that I wish I had known him better, I wish I knew his favorite color, his greatest childhood memory, what it was like growing up in the 1920's and 30's, how many places did he visit etc. He was a private man, but if I could do it over I'd ask lots more questions, to have seen 87 years on this earth, he must have had lots of stories, memories, good times and bad... So if you still have your Grandpa and can go spend time with him, I'd encourage you to do that, sit at his feet and ask him about his life, let him know you're interested in the wisdom he has to share and the lessons he's learned along the way. I took my Grandparents for granted a lot, growing up I just thought they'd always be here. I praise the Lord that they were always there when I was a kid, that I didn't have to say goodbye until I was an adult and that I carry around those memories with me. And hopefully I still have more time with my other Grandparents and I pray I'll make the most of it. Death is a hard thing, but it teaches us to cherish the moments, because we never know how many we have left with the people we love. And too, it makes me think - what will I leave behind? if I die tomorrow, or 80 years from now... We all have choices to make, and my choices won't only affect me, they'll affect people around me, and the generation behind me etc. Your life can either hurt or help, you can live to bring glory to God or to yourself, what is it you want people to remember about your life when it's over? I love you and miss you Grandpa. Dad-I'm praying for you, and I love you.

*James Elsworth Maupin August 15th 1921 - July 3rd 2009




*With all my heart* ~Rissa

*Seen & Unseen*

I haven't written in over a month but no news is good news I guess :) I'm doing well. In some ways it seems that a lot has happened the last 5 weeks but in other ways I can't think of what has happened or how to write about it. I've been regularly attending a church in Pessac and enjoying getting to know the people there. Everyone is very kind and I'm thankful for the body of Christ no matter where I am. My roommate Anna and I have a Bible study at our apartment on Saturday evenings and that's been a blessing. There are usually at least 1 or 2 other young women that attend! We're studying the book of James, I've read it many times but am learning lots more this time around, so much wisdom written in scripture, I love it! The more I choose to read it the more I hunger for it. I'm no longer taking a formal French course but my friend Abi has graciously taken the time to give me French lessons, in exchange for guitar lessons :D We have so much fun together. We're both learning! I think learning a language is similar to learning an instrument in the way of if you're actually going to get anywhere, you have to want to do it, you have to be dedicated to actually working at it and practicing it, and you need someone who tells you it is possible :) And where the scary part comes in is actually showing people what you've learned, using it all for God's glory, not worried about your own. (preaching to myself right now haha). Anyway - the Cole's are doing well, they have been such a blessing! I've known them only a little over a year but the impact is sure to be lifelong, no doubt! Michael & Liz constantly take the time to just sit and talk with me and are always making sure I'm well, letting me stay for dinner etc. The kids are my favorite thing about France :) They have so much joy and enthusiasm and I just love it! Spending time with them, helping care for them etc. it's teaching me so much and always brings a smile to my heart, God knew what He was doing when He brought us together :) Summer is just beginning here in France, some days it's really warm other days it cools off a ton again, so I never quite know what to expect. I've had some time off this month and have gotten to see some neat things around Bordeaux (Dune de Pilat; Lacanau beach; Public Garden; etc.) I enjoy riding the tram; seeing cultural differences here and there; meeting new people etc. Life is not always easy but there are adventures to be had and I think it's my choice whether I focus on the negative things going on or the positive. There are always both, no matter what country you live in... Speaking of countries, my family members are all back in the US! Meridith & Jason have been back for some time now and are awaiting the arrival of my brand new Niece or Nephew any time now!! Though my heart still aches at not being with my sister through this, I know the Lord has a time for me to get to meet the baby, and it will be special and unforgettable no matter when that is. Rachel got back from Australia just a few days ago and I'm excited about getting to hear more of her stories.

I'm praying about the possibility of flying home for a couple weeks this summer. The tentative plan is August but there are several factors going into it so I'm waiting and praying for wisdom. Please pray with me, that I'll make the best choices and God would give clear direction etc. Please also pray for my Grandma. She's not doing very well and I think she wants to go home to be with the Lord and my Grandpa. I understand her desire, and I want that for her.. But I'll miss her if she goes now, I want many more years with her! Just asking for the Lord's will to be done, and grace for those of us left behind.. I'm thankful for the special time she and I had together before I came to France.

*{But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit}

*{So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal}

2 Corinthians 3:16-18;4:18

~I'm gonna need You~

So... I often long to be a person that is always happy, always smiling, always completely focused on the positive side of life. But I'm not. My view of things is basically like a roller coaster. That's why one of my favorite verses is Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That's great news! No matter how my feelings, outlook, or attitude change - I can go to Him and He'll be the same. When I'm overjoyed about something - Jesus has joy, just like He always does. When I'm horribly sad or disappointed about something - Jesus is there to comfort me and teach me, just like He always is. When plans change unexpectedly, when sad things happen, when people confuse me, etc. etc. etc. Jesus is who He's always been. Even His love for me doesn't change! When I sin, or fail, or complain, or walk away, no matter what I do He still loves me like the day I was born :)
Things have been hard the past several weeks. I was beyond excited to see my sister and her husband and have them here in France with me for several days, their not able to come now. My new best friend here that I've gotten close to over the past couple months is leave to go home to England soon. My best friend back at home is going off to boot camp in a few weeks. I can only see my sister's baby belly in pictures, I can't put my hand there to feel my niece or nephew move, I can't be there for the baby showers, decorations and birth... I'll never even have a picture of me with her while she was pregnant...

*For the Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones (Isaiah 49:13)

I won't ignore the pain and become hardened. I won't act like I don't care or that these things don't matter to me. I won't pretend to be happy every moment I'm here.

I was getting confused the other day, arguing with myself that I'm supposed to be happy, it's a fruit of the spirit so why am I not portraying joyfulness?? But joy is really: *a source or cause of delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated. I can't/won't always FEEL happy. But my SOURCE of Joy is always there and always the same. My cause of delight is Jesus. He is what I greatly value no matter what's going on around me. And maybe He's teaching me through these things to make sure HE is what I value above all else.
The songs I sing, do I really believe them? That HE is my all in all. That HE is more than enough. That I will serve HIM with all I am.

I just remembered a song I used to listen to a lot and the lyrics are so perfect right now!...

{I'm running back to Your promises, one more time,
Lord that’s all I can hold on to.
I’ve got to say this has taken me, by surprise,
But nothing surprises You.
Before a heartache, can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands.
And even though I keep asking why...
No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what, I’m gonna need You
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not - I’ll trust You,
No matter what.
When I’m stuck in this nothingness, by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it, without Your help
I won’t even try it.
I know You have Your reasons, for everything
So I will keep believing.
Whatever I might be feeling
God You are my hope, and You’ll be my strength.
Anything I don’t have, You can give it to me
But it’s OK if You don’t.
I’m not here for those things,
The touch of Your love is enough on its own.
No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what, I’m gonna need You,
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But if not - I’ll trust You
No matter what.} (Kerrie Roberts)




<3, Carissa

"Faking a smile with a coffee to-go"

I've been humming the tune to "bad day" lol and no it's not because it's Friday the 13th. Yesterday was one of those days where I wished multiple times I could have a redo, or rather just forget it happened... It started with the dreaded realization that either my alarm clock is not working correctly or I slept right through it because I'm late for work! Thankfully wasn't too late and the Cole's were very kind; and everyone still made it to their classes etc. I was feeling pretty okay about my last French class, ready to get my final exam over with. I wasn't too nervous and my Tuesday night exam had went rather well I felt like. But this one... We started out having to read a dialog between two people and then there were 3 pages of questions to answer. Then my teacher wrote 4 words, under 2 categories and we were supposed to conjugate the verbs in different ways and I don't know what happened but I totally blanked... and when I told her I didn't understand she explained again (everything is totally in French keep in mind) and by this point I had gotten pretty nervous and a little upset, AND everyone in the class had finished and left except for me and 2 guys. So by the time I finally kind of understood what I was supposed to be writing on my blank piece of paper I didn't get very far before she came over and told us an hour was enough and we were done :( All week I'd been telling myself it wasn't a huge deal so I was surprised at how upset I felt about the whole thing. My teacher seemed frustrated and disappointed, and I was frustrated and disappointed.. And I was upset that I was going to leave my last class feeling that way. I had wanted to feel victorious and free, not to mention smarter; and speaking French like a pro :) Okay so yeah maybe my expectations were a little high :) But we all have those moments don't we? Where one thing we didn't do quite right triggers reminders of everything else we haven't done or can't seem to ever get right... The fact that I had overslept that morning, yes it was the first time of being late since being here, but it's the 100th time in my life, why do I still struggle? Why am I not good at tests? Why can I only speak 1 language? Why am I not consistent in the areas I need to be? Why do I want to overeat and not work out? Why do I let the things people say bother me and get me down? Why do I feel insecure about who I am based on other people's actions? After I got back from class I grabbed my little ipod shuffle and put on my running shoes and decided to just run... I just kept going until I felt I couldn't go anymore (but then I had to walk all the way back haha). During the 2 hours of running/walking/thinking/praying/listening to my inspiring music :) God taught me lots of stuff! I'm still processing all of it but I think the gist is that my life is between me and Him, it doesn't matter what someone thinks my motives are because He sees my heart, He knows. It doesn't matter if someone is better or smarter than me. That's not what's important. Reminds me of the JJ Heller song - what love really means:
{{I will love you for you
Not for what you have done
Or what you will become
I will love you for you}}
I just need to realize that yes I mess up, and I will continue to make mistakes or "fail" at things that I want to succeed in. But I have a relationship with the One who gave us all the gift of amazing grace! And I have promises in scripture that assure me that God will use me, despite my inability to live up to my standards or anyone else's... All I have to offer the Lord is me. So I will continue on, asking Him to help me give Him my best each day. One day at a time/one circumstance at a time/no matter what.
~Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6~
{{Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun}}

<3 Rissa

*Counting Blessings*

{O Lord, I will honor and praise Your name, for You are my God. You do such wonderful things!~Isaiah 25:1}
*Hello April! Hello 3 month anniversary (in France)! Hello 23! Hello spring! I'm not sure how March went by so fast, I was trying to hold onto it but it just went right on by :) I guess the saying time flies when you're having fun definitely applies. My 23rd birthday happened in March and I got the most wonderful gift!! My friend Jenny came to visit! And unbeknownst to me my brother had been planning for months to come along! I was SO surprised when I went to the airport to Pick Jenny up and Kyle walked around the corner! My happy state of shock lasted the whole 6 days they were here in France :) We had a blast! They went to my french class with me, we spent time seeing Paris, they visited church, etc. We celebrated Viviane's 5th birthday on the 18th, and my birthday on the 19th! Viviane & Adeline loved Kyle & Jenny so much!! The morning I took them back to the airport I don't know how I drove home because I was crying so hard. It's hard to grow up and have to realize that God's plans often call us to go separate ways, at least for a time. But I was and still am forever grateful that they flew so far to spend just a week with me, to make my birthday beyond special and to bring me hugs from home. God knew I needed that time with them. The fun adventures/long talks/getting to share a part of my life here with two people that mean so much to me, it was a huge blessing that I'll never forget or take for granted! As I'm getting older and I start to think that birthdays don't mean as much anymore I'm always convinced otherwise :) Seems like each birthday gets better and the surprises are bigger and the adventures more grand! This birthday caused me to think back on a birthday 3 years ago that I also spent in another country far away from home; when my 2 sisters came and spent 10 days with me in Vietnam!! SO many great memories and wonderful stories! It feels weird to be 23 because I'm not where I thought I would be at this age, in many ways.. But I'm constantly realizing that God knows better than I/His plans are better than mine/His ways and thoughts are higher than mine.. He holds the big picture and I don't need to see it now.

*On January 31st I had my first French class at DEFLE=(DÉPARTEMENT D'ETUDES DE FRANÇAIS LANGUE ETRANGÈRE). Since then I've had 50 hours of French class! Never having gone to school before (I've always been home-schooled and have yet to attend college) this has been a very difficult experience for me, everything was new - classroom atmosphere, classmates, professors, taking notes, lots of homework etc. etc. Did I mention the class is entirely in French? :) The teachers do not speak English to you and prefer you do not speak it to them either haha so my first school experience has been a little intimidating to say the least! But I will be forever grateful to the Cole's for giving me this opportunity! I did not come here with the sole purpose of learning French but I am now able to continue studying the language on my own and have the chance to really learn and be able to converse with the people I'll meet here. Through this experience I have been challenged in so many ways. I've grown closer to the Lord, knowing that He can take me beyond my limits, beyond where my fears would have me stop. When I want to say no and quit, when I'm too afraid, too selfish, think I'm not able, or whatever it is holding me back, He takes my hand and says keep going, "Fear not, for I am with you" (Isaiah 43:5a). So yes - language school has been a blessing! It's also great to know that I've been given a picture of what missionaries go through to learn a language; it's given me more compassion for people that are learning any language for the first time (including when I'm teaching children who are learning their own language!). I have two exams next week and then I'll be finished with my course, I'm a little nervous/curious to see what the exams are like and how I'll do but I know there's not really any pressure to make a certain grade; but I do hope I've used the time well and learned enough to continue on in my own personal study of the language.

*The kids - Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE being a Nanny?! I do! It's funny because I thought everyone must want to be a nanny but I'm meeting lots of people who say they wouldn't really like it, go figure?? I can't understand, but I guess that's just reality :) I feel like I have 9 children = my first nanny job I had 3, my second I had 2, my third I had 1, and now I have 3 :) My heart so badly misses the kids I'm not with any longer and I cherish my memories of them. The kids I have now are great, Viviane and I loved almost sharing a birthday, we got so excited about everything - the gifts, the people, the special foods etc. She's going to preschool and is picking up French words constantly, I love that we're on the same level of French and can learn from each other :) Adeline is brilliant, she's the smartest 2 year old ever, talks all the time and loves life. I love spending my days with her, we read books, do arts and crafts, have Bible time, singing time etc. We've started watching "Franklin" (the animated turtle) in French so we can learn new french words together :) When my brother Kyle was here Adeline decided to nickname him "Taco" haha she makes me laugh many many times a day. Mathieu is 6 months old now and is super adorable! He's such a happy baby! I love watching him grow, it's fascinating how quickly he's changing and learning new things!
Towards the end of this month I'll be going to a mission conference in another area of France to be the childcare provider for 4 days, I'm excited for the opportunity to meet more missionary families and to have a group of kids to teach and do activities with!

*Friends - I'd been asking God for some friends here in France. Especially after the time spent with my best friend and brother from home I realized even more how lonely I'd been feeling and how even though I enjoy my days with the kids it's great to go out sometimes, to just do random fun things with people my age. God has answered this prayer in multiple ways! Through having an English Sunday school started I've gotten to know some of the young people from church better the past several weeks; And I've become good friends with 2 girls from England that are here 'til June. We've started hanging out a couple times a week and we just talk and talk! I've gotten to see a little more of Bordeaux as well! I also have a roommate with a strong love for the Lord and missions; and the Cole's treat me like family! Michael & Liz are great company, great cooks, great friends and role models! The people in the Church here are also so kind and loving, even with my extreme lack of French speaking skills I feel loved and accepted as a sister in Christ. I miss my family, friends, and church family back home every single day but God is faithful to meet all my needs.

*I'll leave you for now with a few quotes from Jim Elliot:
“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.”
"Lord, make my way prosperous not that I achieve high station, but that my life be an exhibit to the value of knowing God.”
“The will of God is always a bigger thing than we bargain for, but we must believe that whatever it involves, it is good, acceptable and perfect.”
“He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”
“Forgive me for being so ordinary while claiming to know so extraordinary a God.”
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
“Oh, the fullness, pleasure, sheer excitement of knowing God on earth!”

*Please pray for everyone here - that we will surrender each day to God and die to ourselves and live fully alive in Him..
*Please pray for my parents, brothers, and sisters - we're all in different seasons of life with different struggles and joys..

*I'll write again soon! Thanks for reading :) Happy Easter!!! So excited that our Lord did not stay on the cross nor in the grave, He rose and is alive today, in me!!!


In His Hands,
Rissa