Being a Nanny

I walk into the house where I work in Bordeaux France and while I'm taking my coat and boots off I hear little people coming down the stairs... Adeline says "Is it Carissa?!" Viviane seeing me says "It is Carissa!!" You'd almost think it was a surprise or a new thing but nope I've been coming over for almost a year now :) I love it! Granted Adeline isn't always thrilled to see me :) but most days she is, a lot of days even Mathieu gets excited when I come in! And at the end of the night when I'm getting my things back on to leave Adeline always says "Where are you going Carissa?" Me- "to my apartment", then she says "why?", haha so I tell her one thing or another I have to do that evening and that I'd like to sleep in my own bed but that I'll be back in the morning :) She seems satisfied with that... Tonight when I was leaving, Mathieu kept waving bye to me, it was the cutest thing! But I had to fight back tears... As I've had to do multiple times recently, because I knew it was one of the few times I would get to see him do that again... I only have 2 weeks left with them, so each hug I get, each game we play, each picture I take, it's almost the last...

I've often been asked, what's the hardest thing about being a nanny? I refer to the changing of stinky diapers, dealing with difficult parents or relatives, discipline issues etc. But when it comes down to it, I know what, for me, is really the hardest part about being a nanny... The leaving. At one point or another your job is over...
This time feels even more difficult, I wasn't able to pinpoint why that is exactly until recently, and I think it's because when I leave, I'm getting on a plane to move to a different continent than these kids. My first nanny job, in Vietnam, the whole family flew back to the States at the same time as me, and then they were in the States for the rest of the year so I had time to adjust my thinking to leaving them, I had chances to see them. My other nanny jobs were in Nashville and I could hop in my car and drive to see those boys... But this time it's different. I can't slowly separate myself, can't drive over and hug them when I miss them too much... I just have to leave. I cried a lot when my other nanny jobs ended, I just get so attached to the kids I care for, a year is a long time. And this time I'm even having dreams about the day I have to leave, the first dream I just kinda waved and said bye as I was walking off, the second dream I just stood there hugging them and crying. In reality I know I have to actually get on the plane, I know I'll hug them, I'm pretty sure I'll be crying. The part I don't understand how to work out is the leaving.

I love being a nanny, I love being their nanny. I loved watching them grow, when we got here they were 4, 2, and 3 months, when I leave they'll be 5, 3, and 15 months. They've gotten taller, faster, smarter, somehow even cuter and funnier!!

I'm excited about going home, being with my family, all together!! For Christmas. Holding my Nephews again. I'm excited about the new things God has planned for me to do. I'm so thankful for this past year and joyful about this next one! I know I am beyond blessed. Plus I'm leaving knowing that 1.It's time - God is calling me to the next thing and He knows better than I do and 2.These kids are loved and cherished beyond words by their parents, and their being taught all about Jesus!! I'm so excited for who they are and who they'll be!

But yes leaving is breaking my heart. I'm going to miss the family that I've become a part of. I'm going to miss the church and my friends. I'm going to miss the challenges that have scared me and stretched me.

Most of all I'm going to sorely miss three small people that have made a huge impact on my life.

~With all my Heart~
<3,Rissa